Its quiet at home.

Kids are at their dads, and i have the house to myself.   After i slept until noon i finally drug myself out of bed and took my morning meds, then sat around hurting till they kicked in.

Now i am kind of awake, its 2pm and delilah is on her way home, we have to run up and see about fixing the car today, the mechanic is going to meet us there.  Hopefully it will be home tonight.
At least we have 2 vehicles, would be in some serious problems with just one car.  Technically we should have 3, one for each of us and a spare in case of break downs.. which is what the truck was, but since its dead, and has been since a year or so ago, wow make that two years now. It wont do us much good.
But its Alec's Truck, i bought it so we could fix it up for his first car. It was his grandpas truck. kind of keeping it in the family.  i have to get a new motor put in it.

This is what i want to do to it for him, but we shall see if that happens or not. It would take a bit of work but would be something totally different to see on the road, 4wd mini truck.  We shall see if it ever happens or not.  All depends on how much energy i end up with, and if i get the tools i need.

So probably dinner out, after the car is fixed.  Hmmm maybe catfish and okra, yummmmm my favorite meal to get from missoula.

 We shall see.

ok, i am not fully awake and just typing to be typing so im going to run for now.. no real energy to think and put something worth reading on here.
Hope everyone is doing ok.  May update when we get back from getting the car fixed.

First day of school

They survived and had fun. Even though though there were a few hickups.  School lost Alec's shot records, so he missed a few classes while they were faxed, so he had a real easy day.

Kids were wound yesterday when they got home.  That will soon wear off *lol*.

Car is not fixed yet, but we think we have someone to look at it today.  It could be a host of things,
apparently dodge didnt make it simple like many mfgs..
Could be the solenoid, or neutral kill switch, or starter really switch, or ground wire on the starter, or
fusible link, or the starter.. just figures never simple..  makes me want a old classic more and more each day.. my plan, if i survive all of this.. i am going to find a early 80s chevy short bed, and fix it up.  I would love older, but then you start running into some money..

Another night no sleep.. just layed there tired, half exhausted but could not pass out, finally was hurting enough i got up for a while.  I have to get the kids up in a few hours to get them going for school.

I am going to try to go crash for a little bit.

oh FYI if you are wondering why i complain so much and seem to mention in every post if i am hurting or feeling good... well its basically a foot note type thing for me later on. Once i get past all this and if i am lucky enough to get a transplant, i can look back through all of this and see how often i was hurting compared to after tx.  (future reference tx means transplant).

So its not just so i can complain and make people feel bad for me.. lol.  its for my own future reference.

ok nap time.

I will post more later. :)  Thanks for stopping by.

The real numbers...

Just puttin the facts that are avail out.



Currently, there are nearly 17,000 people waiting for liver transplants in the United States, but only enough livers to perform about 6,300 transplants each year. Because of this organ shortage, more than 1,500 people die each year while waiting for a liver transplant.

Objective

To evaluate the long-term survival outcomes of a large cohort of liver transplant recipients and to identify static and changing factors that influenced these outcomes over time.

Summary Background Data

Liver transplantation has been accepted as a therapeutic option for patients with end-stage liver disease since 1983, with continual improvements in patient survival as a result of advances in immunosuppression and medical management, technical achievements, and improvements in procurement and preservation. Although many reports, including registry data, have delineated short-term factors that influence survival, few reports have examined factors that affect long-term survival after liver transplantation.

Methods

Four thousand consecutive patients who underwent liver transplantation between February 1981 and April 1998 were included in this analysis and were followed up to March 2000. The effect of donor and recipient age at the time of transplantation, recipient gender, diagnosis, and year of transplantation were compared. Rates of retransplantation, causes of retransplantation, and cause of death were also examined.

Results

The overall patient survival for the entire cohort was 59%; the actuarial 18-year survival was 48%. Patient survival was significantly better in children, in female recipients, and in patients who received transplants after 1990. The rates of retransplantation for acute or chronic rejection were significantly lower with tacrolimus-based immunosuppression. The risk of graft failure and death was relatively stable after the first year, with recurrence of disease, malignancies, and age-related complications being the major factors for loss.


Staying positive but also facing the facts.

although i think the 'results' numbers is higher, some where around 73% as of last year. If i remember during my search for information when all this started.


never mind i was going to do the math as to the actual odds but my brain is not working.. its late, i cant sleep and i'm hurtin again. 

did i mention i hate cars

Well, that did not go as planned.

Ran to the store, got supper, figured would meet the wife at home about the same time... nope that didnt pan out.
She text me saying the car wouldn't start.  So i drove to missoula to pick her up, looks like starter is  dead, so we get to find a mechanic to fix it.  I hate not being able to work on cars any more.

so we get to spend who knows how much getting it back on the road. But thats tomorrow,  for now it can sit at walmart.

we got home did supper and put a movie in and relaxed for the night, have to say the drive up to missoula to get deliiah and then come back home has taken its toll, i am hurting tonight.

kids are watching "mirror Mirror"  , i made it about 10 min into it and that was enough for me. defiantly not my kind of show.

On to a different subject, the though of HE (when the liver wont clean out and it overloads on toxins and they end up going to your brain causing mood swings, grumpyness and a lot of other serious and not so serious side effects.) Scares the crap out of me.  I have read many stories of others that have had battles with it before their transplant and it has long term effects, it kind of dulls the mind, makes it hard to learn new things, and other assorted issues.

Since i have been online, i spend most of my time surfing and reading about interesting topics, as some have seen some of the things i post for everyone to read. I scour news sources from around the world, stop by Nasa and other scientific sites, check out the sun every few days, read on new quantum physics ideas, and a host of  other things.  While since being sick and stuck at home i have done a LOT more of this, i enjoy it. I have yet to give up and stop learning, i have a curious brain, always have.  While most of what i read is way above my head, and some i just read to read. I enjoy what i do get out of it.   With the though of HE i am a bit scared. I could not imagine getting on line and only checking email and face book and playing games, i know for many  that is all they want to do, and that is ok, but for me that would be like a death sentence in ways.   There is so much information out there,and so many things to learn and discover. The thought of not being able to comprehend what i am reading, or retain it is frighting. A real worry for me. I am hoping that i some  how manage any serous effects from HE but very few are that lucky.

 As many have said , life is different after transplant you are not the same person as you once were in many ways.   That worry's me to.

Just venting.. thinking with my fingers.. but it is a real worry that i have. I could not imagine not learning and reading like i do now.

Speaking of reading, i have discovered i am cheap *lol*  was in the store getting supper and there was a new John Grisham book out, i was thinking to my self, ohhhh this should be good i have not read this one... i should get it, until i picked it up and looked at the back cover and they wanted $10 for it.   I love reading a good book, and have not had one in a while, but no way am i going to pay that much for a book i am going to read once or maby twice if i am desperate.  I will have to find a used book store and see if i can find a copy,  i hit one book store last year and picked up a a hard copy of a grisham book for $2.   Only hard back of his that i do have. But could not pass that up.

ok , time to get off here, gota get the kids rounded up and ready for school in the morning, make sure they have everything ready. So thats it for today, unless i wake up in the middle of the night in pain, then i may post more.

Its Monday

Yesterday was not bad at all, I felt good until the last few hours. Which is rare,  Today on the other hand its past noon and i just woke up, took my pain pills and am hoping they kick in soon.  

The kids are enjoying their last day off from school, summer vacation is coming to a end once again. They are not excited about it, but know they have no choice.

So today they are playing, Jordi is online and alec is watching some cartoons on PBS.  Bed early tonight for them. And the battle will start at 7am tomorrow.

I see by my stats that i am getting quite the following. over 50 people have checked my blog so far today, which is good. I am glad that typing all of this out and keeping it updated is worth it.  When i started this i honestly did not know if anyone would even bother reading it, let alone come back. So i guess it is my job now that i know people are reading it, to make it a bit interesting.  Which could be a challenge since i kind of have a boring life.

The clock is ticking for general hunt for hunting season to start. I am getting a little excited, and nervous at the same time.   I honestly dont know if i can get out there and hunt this year. But i am going to try, and i am hoping to fill my tags this year.  One big bull elk and one big buck.  Last year i got skunked, went out, but just never saw anything to take a shot at.  I blame the wolves in the area, putting to much pressure on the elk.  I know many are pro wolf, but i am not one of them.

My opinion is this.. They made a HUGE mistake re-introducing the wolves to Montana. For one , we already had them here, so why put more.  The other and main reason i am against them is many in Montana count on hunting season to fill their freezer, Montana as great as it is to live in , is a very poor state. Most get by paycheck to paycheck and that is it.  Good jobs are few and far between. So during hunting season when a family can get 300 pounds of extra meat, or more, it is very important to their survival throughout the year.
Since they have introduced the wolves i have known many families that use to count on the hunt to feed their kids end up getting nothing the whole hunting season.  

When i first moved here, the first year i was out with friends opening day, we saw elk by the thousands, literally.  When i shot my first elk, it was in a bunch of about 40.   I have seen herds of elk so big that when they crossed the interstate they stooped all traffic, not because there were a 'few' of them, but because there were thousands of them.

In the past few years, i have not seen any large groups of elk, last year the largest i saw was  before hunting season, and there were only about 30.     During hunting season, i went a lot of places last year, i bet all total i covered around 300 miles of area, driving the back roads of the mountains looking for tracks to go follow.  Sadly, i saw very few tracks from elk, and i did not see any elk at all. Not a single one, we did find a few groups of deer (mulie) but they were all doe's and all we could do was walk amongst them and watch.  There was one Buck last year, but a hunter beat us to it.

So in a nut shell, no i am not a fan of wolfs i understand that they are a part of the landscape but i think their numbers need brought down quite a bit.  It seems as though the ones in charge have put wolf's needs above families needs.  I would much rather see a family who is broke and trying to fill their freezer get a elk than a wolf.

And while we are on the subject of hunting.  I think the state needs a new system. They need "horn" tags and "meat" tags.  so the people that are out hunting just to have something to put on their wall can only shoot a bull elk with a specific size of horn or bigger.  while the ones hunting for food are allowed to shoot either sex elk. 

I have got many elk and deer over the years, and the largest horns i have is a 3 point.  as a friend use to say. "you cant eat the horns".   Sure this year is a little different, i am looking for a big rack, to have something to put on the wall, a nice 6point would be sweet.  But it is only because its possible this is my last hunting season, and if not my last, it is my last for many years.  By next year i dont expect to be able to get out there. So a nice set of horns would be nice.

I am hoping we can get the exploder fixed by hunting season so i can take it out, but i am not counting on it. Odds are i will have to bum a ride from people.  The front drivers side is having issues with the bearings, in the old days i could have fixed this, but instead we have to pay the shop $600  plus to fix it for us.
We have so much in that darn thing, i will be driving it for a LONG time.   Sadly we have to much invested to sell it, all the things that have gone wrong over the past couple of years. It is a good running vehicle, i cant complain, when  it dosent have something going wrong with it, i would not hesitate hopping in it and driving anywhere, (although not the greatest on gas).  But i bet we have some where around $7000 invested in it.  Quite a bit for a $2000 vehicle.   Thats not counting the tires i put on last fall. which were just under $800.  I could have got cheaper tires, but figured if we are stuck with it, might as well buy a set that is going to last a while.  I probably wont have to mess with the tires for the next 10 years with the ones i got for it.

Went to church again yesterday,  the kids are not thrilled but some good influence in their life is not a bad  thing.  They are not sure what they think about it yet.  I like the minister, his sermons are down to earth, last night was great, it was aimed at the kids, telling them to avoid trouble, dont go with the flow just because everyone else is.  It was a good message and i have to say the first time i have seen any church do something like that.  he covered a lot of the pressures and troubles that kids face today and encouraged them to be strong and avoid the bad parts of life.  Now weather they took anything home from it or not is a different story, but its not because he did not try to help them.

Well, thats about it for this morning.  I may update later.  My pain meds are starting to kick in, which is a good thing.  Gota start thinking about something for supper again.  told the kids yesterday they can eat grass for supper.. there is a lot out in the yard. *lol* it didnt go over well.

Ok gang, thanks for reading, share the link if you want.  Let me know if i'm to boring or if my typing is to bad and spelling is way off. :)

Today has been a good day so far. I actually woke up on my own at 10am, and was not in to much pain when i got up and got awake.  Although i still took my pain pills first thing because i dont want it to sneak up on me and be in pain later on.

So far its been a lazy day, playing with the kids checking stuff online, dreaming of being out on the road on a Harley. (a friend on FB was talking about theirs, i was very jealous.)  This is what i want.
Harley-Davidson® Softail® Cross Bones™ V Twin 1573 cc

 Has some sweet lines to it.  Not that the odds are ever in my favor that i will actually own one.. but one can dream. :).    My goal  before i die is to one one of these and get to put some miles on it.

Got my shower, felt good for a change normally standing for a while starts to hurt. But today was ok.  Now jordi is in the shower getting hers out of the way for the day. I think she was more bored than anything, so that means before long i will have a wet head snuggeling by my shoulder wrapped in a towel.  A lot of good it did me putting on dry clothes huh? *lol*.

Now to figure something out for supper...  the hard decisions.  same old same old, since i can only have limited stuff because of salt content, it gets boring as heck eating.  Maybe tonight, or tomorrow i will pick up some steaks and kick the bbq grill on and fix a real meal. Have not had steak in a long while, it dose not agree with me, but i enjoy the flavor anyway.

Tonight is church from 6pm-7pm, trying out a new church, cant hurt, could be good for the kids.

Well thats it for me for now. Hope everyone has a great sunday.

The County Fair is in town....

The kids had a blast, they got the same as every year, we buy the arm bands that give them unlimited rides,  we were probably there for about 4 hours.  Which was about all i could take, i was hurting bad when we finally got home. But they had fun and that is what counts. Myself, i hate going to places like that, to crowded , to long of lines and to many rude people.  The things you do for kids.

I woke up this morning and crawled out of bed , literally , all that walking around has put me in some pain. So now i sit half drugged up and still hurting, i have gone from the bed to the couch, and one trip to the bathroom and one to the kitchen.. thats in the past 3 hours. I dont plan on moving much at all today.

The kids start school tuesday, they are not totally excited about it. But its that time of year.  Now we get to face the battles of homework and grades.  I just hope this year Jordi has adjusted more to me being sick and her scores come up.

Last year at the end of the school year, we had the teachers conference, and jordi's grades had started dropping a little and her progress leels had stop going up and were just a flat line.  We were sitting there talking to the teacher and i was looking over her progress charts and realised that her progress levels stooped going up the same time i got sick and was diagnosed. It kind of hit hard, i had to fight to keep the tears back and im not the type to do that, but it hit hard that i was having that much of a effect on her.

I really do worry about her, she is my little snuggle bug, always right beside, or on top of me, sitting on my lap. If things do go wrong i am not sure how it is going to effect her. Has me worried for her future.

Our birthdays are 2 days apart, so in a lot of ways we are alike. I love our long conversations when it is just her and i sitting around, not that what she is saying is important, or the topic is anything, but the fact that she is so intent and involved when she is telling her stories.

Alec is older, and a boy and not into the all gushy huggy type stuff, and so far my health has not caused much of a issue with him. But snuggle bug i worry about.

Have to figure out whats for dinner.. get so tired of food, why havent they invented that pill yet. would make things much easier when you just dont feel like it.

ok, may update later, but for now, this is it.